"So, your patron saint." Ha ha. She's so funny. Anyway, she trots off to go find REAL FRIENDS, god, so rude. Heh. Which finds her outside, as she its on the stairs enjoying her drink. Several minutes later, a cute kitten eventually wanders over into the yard, meowing at her, and seems very interested in her presence. She sets the nearly empty glass aside, and the kitten hops up the stairs to her, trying to climb in her lap.
AW.
She gently scoops the kitten up and walks back inside, leaving her glass outside.
Upon seeing the kitten, Constantine immediately grabs both a jar from a nearby bench, and the kitten from Zed's hands. Having stuffed the kitten in the jar and tightened the lid, he rips off a series of enchantments, ignoring her until he finishes.
He rolls his eyes, sighing in exasperation before muttering another quick spell in the direction of the jar. He then places it on the floor, and begins sketching out various diagrams on the surface around it with the ever present chalk in his pocket.
After he finishes, he straightens up and looks her in the eye with a steely gaze. "Do you mind telling me exactly what made you think that was a bloody good idea?"
"Um. I found a kitten, obviously. And was going to give it some milk and food, and a warm cat bed. Probably a box lid with a blanket in it." Because cats, man. Cats.
"So, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to do that." She starts to pick up the jar with one probably terrified kitten inside it.
Of course, the newly formed forcefield prevents her from reaching the jar, gently pushing her hand away. He walks up behind her, arms crossed, his face focused. "Oh yes, please release the creature that's already made it past the house's strongest defenses and endeared itself to you. Not to mention how it just so happens to show up when you got outside for a spot of tea, making itself nice and lovable and just needing to be taken in. Now, if this was some fucking townhouse in coal country, I wouldn't mind. But have you already forgotten where we are? What we're up against? The Rising Darkness can appear in any shape or form! That's why I'm getting rid of it ASAP."
Hrmph. That force field was unexpected. "Wow. You must be a real hit at parties, especially with the ladies." Said in a very dry, sarcastic tone. No, she really doesn't need any details on that.
Please don't try to play 'dry' or 'sarcastic' with a Brit. It never ends well, I promise. He leans in close, voice lowered. "Yes, well, I don't have to have this level of caution at parties now, do I? And when, not if, I meet a lovely lady, I certainly don't take her back to my bloody secret lair for schnapps and a bout. If you're gonna stay in this game, you need to wisen up, love, before someone else does the wising for you."
"I don't know what you do at parties and I don't need to know."
Anyway, have an attempt at a half-playful smack to the face. "We're calling this a 'lair' now, good to know we sound like shitty villains in a shitty superhero movie. But hey. At least I don't have issues with cute kittens."
The snarcasm never ceases to flow, even as he starts to give in to the demands of a kitten obsessed insane person. "Oh yes, we're all the rage, 3 seasons in on fuckin' HBO. Look, if you let me run some detection spells on the damn furball, and they all come back completely clean, you can keep it, yeah? Just don't let it out of your bloody room or it'll wind up as its own artifact sob story before lunch."
"Three seasons? Shit, I should talk to the costuming department about my wardrobe. I could use a sleeker look -- I've always thought those full body suits look badass. Maybe even a cool mask. But fine, I'll keep it in my room."
Constantine chants for nearly 5 minutes, featuring at least 4 languages and nearly twice as many spells. Finally, he stop, and after taking a few breaths, smudges the spell circle, steps inside and tosses the jar to Zed. "There, now get the little rat out of my sight before I can realize how much I'm going to regret this."
She opens the jar, pulling the kitten gently out and cradling it closely while petting it. "So scary, right?" She will make fum of him for this forever, basically.
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AW.
She gently scoops the kitten up and walks back inside, leaving her glass outside.
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RUDE.
"What the fuck are you doing?! God, at least give it some air."
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After he finishes, he straightens up and looks her in the eye with a steely gaze. "Do you mind telling me exactly what made you think that was a bloody good idea?"
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For fuck's sake, dude.
"Um. I found a kitten, obviously. And was going to give it some milk and food, and a warm cat bed. Probably a box lid with a blanket in it." Because cats, man. Cats.
"So, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to do that." She starts to pick up the jar with one probably terrified kitten inside it.
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Anyway, have an attempt at a half-playful smack to the face. "We're calling this a 'lair' now, good to know we sound like shitty villains in a shitty superhero movie. But hey. At least I don't have issues with cute kittens."
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